


As Long As It Takes

by tautochrying



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Genre: Happy Ending, Heavy topics, Hurt and comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Sadbotnik, Self-Doubt, Suicidal Ideation, lot of crying, self-hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22886998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tautochrying/pseuds/tautochrying
Summary: Robotnik was a man convinced that not a soul would mourn him if he died and that his emotions would be his downfall. That was, at least, until Agent Stone convinced him otherwise.
Relationships: Dr. Eggman | Dr. Robotnik/Agent Stone
Comments: 13
Kudos: 274





	As Long As It Takes

Robotnik always had known how he wanted to die, if he had to choose a way. He would take a special vial, a needle, and go to the forest. He would sit against a tree, inject himself with the serum he keeps padlocked in his lab, and drift off to sleep- never to wake up again. The idea of returning himself to nature was more of a comfort than anything else, but a plan he couldn’t bear to keep at the forefront of his mind. He had to be fine, even if he didn’t feel it. 

His life had never been kind to him. People had never been kind to him unless they wanted something. Robotnik, in the end, without the technology he surrounded himself with, had nothing. No one who cared, and no real way to convince himself anyone would care. All he had was Stone, who he wrote heavy paychecks to. There couldn’t have been any care there, he told himself- and if any bit of Stone  _ did _ care, it was only a matter time before Robotnik screwed it over. 

Robotnik was convinced that not a soul would mourn him if he died, but only the loss of his mind. The loss of the man that made technology to be used, and therefore not the loss of him. Just an absence of someone who made machine after machine any time he was asked and given enough reason. No one ever dared ask how he was, only for what they wanted from him. Not what toll the deadlines would take on him, but just how fast he could get the job done. 

As far as he knew, no soul cared for him, and no machine had the capacity to give him the will to keep going. When the world didn’t need his machines, what would he do? He’d decided long ago that if the need for a disappearance ever arose, he would tell Stone goodbye, and go to the forest. 

He didn’t know exactly how long he’d been staring at the safe under his desk, but his watch told him it had been nearly an hour. 

A voice rang from the doorway, and Robotnik snapped into better posture. 

“Sir, I found the pieces you asked for,” Stone said simply, holding up a small box that rattled as it moved. Robotnik grimaced. Not because of anything Stone had done, but simply because he didn’t want to be seen at all right now. 

“Put them on the table,” is all he could manage, his voice shaking just enough for him to notice. By the look on Stone’s face, he had noticed as well. 

“Sir-” he took a step forward, placing the box down. Robotnik cursed the worry that lined Stone’s face. That handsome face, displaying a false sense of care, for there was no way this could be true. 

What did Stone want? Robotnik couldn’t help but wonder. His eyes, frantically darting around as the agent drew closer to him. Each step heavy in his ears, ringing, louder than they should be. Everything was closing in on him at once, and he felt the moisture in his eyes- thankfully hidden by his goggles. 

Robotnik said nothing, and Stone sat down next to him in response. 

It was then that something happened, something that convinced him this wasn’t safe- that he couldn’t trust a moment of the interaction. 

“Ivo?” 

Stone said his name. He was trying to get something, that had to be it. He was trying to gain Robotnik’s trust, more than he’d already gained any of his appreciation, and he was going to betray him. Stone was going to hurt him, and that was all he could think. 

The lenses of his glasses fogged, and he shook. Stone’s hand made contact with his shoulder, and Robotnik nearly let out a sob. 

He wanted to yell, to tell Stone not to call him by name, that he didn’t get to call him that. He couldn’t open his mouth, he knew he’d cry. Truthfully, all Robotnik  _ really _ wanted was to collapse. To fall underneath the pressure, to cry out every emotion he’d bottled for years and years, but most of all to hold onto Stone. Robotnik tried hard as he could to overcome the panic, the hurt, the pain, the dreadful shaking, and he couldn’t. 

There was nothing that would let him trust anything in that second, even if it was Stone. Stone, who for all this time, despite every attempt to shove the feelings down and away, Robotnik had cared for. Every moment spent dreading the loss of Stone, or even just the idea of losing Stone. 

Stone, reluctantly, moved closer to Robotnik. He spoke quietly. 

“Are- Are you okay?” 

That was all it took to break him. Robotnik even laughed, but it sounded more like a mangled cry. 

“Isn’t the answer obvious, Stone? No, I’m not okay,” he was shaking miserably, reaching up to take off his goggles- his last line of defense between himself and Stone. His eyes were heavy and tired, worn from nights without sleep, and red from crying. 

Stone stared, completely unsure of what to say or do.

Robotnik just closed his eyes, as if the problems would go away when he opened them again. It was so hard to breathe, and the feeling of Stone’s hand on his shoulder felt like a fire- one he wanted to be consumed by. No one had ever asked how he was, now with the exception of one man: Stone.

“Would you... want to tell me what’s wrong?” Stone almost sounded afraid to ask, and Robotnik’s heart shattered at the idea.    
  
He took a deep breath and tried to speak. By the time he could gather his voice, all he could say was so little in comparison to the storm welling in his chest. It all came out incoherent, jumbled and nonsensical, the inability to get the words through frustrating him further. The sudden feeling of warmth around him made him go quiet- perhaps in shock. 

Stone had pulled him into his arms and was holding him close. Agent Stone, who Robotnik only had ever hoped would care about him, who was always on the unfortunate end of any emotional outbursts and shattering breaks of composure, who he  _ loved _ despite every fear that told him not to. He was holding him, and he was telling him something so barely audible that Robotnik could barely hear it. 

“It’s okay,” he said, “You can cry with me.”

No sirs, no names, just such a genuine tone of worry that Robotnik nearly melted. 

It was hard to keep the tears in, at that point, but even harder to keep himself from saying anything. It wasn’t long before he asked a question he regretted before it even left his mouth. 

“Would you care if I died, Stone?”

The silence hung heavy, like weights being placed on his shoulders. He shrunk into Stone’s arms, fearing the answer. 

“Ivo,” the name came again, and this time Robotnik didn’t feel fear, he only listened. “Of course I would care. I can’t imagine losing you, hell- I don’t  _ want _ to lose you.” 

Robotnik felt the weights lift, but his eyes gave no sign of drying any time soon. The words bounced around in his head, and he let himself take the statement to heart. 

Stone kept talking. 

“I care about  _ you. _ ”

Robotnik couldn’t imagine why he would, and every defense for why he didn’t deserve it came to mind. Despite this, he stayed quiet, wrapping his arms around Stone and holding himself close. Silently, he kept crying, shaking against Stone. 

Stone continued for a few moments, telling Robotnik little things. Giving him the smallest bits of reassurance, more than he had ever gotten. And he did not think for a second that he deserved it. He did all he could think to do. 

He apologized. Over and over again, muffled by the fact his face tucked away and out of sight. The mumbles poured out with his tears, and Stone just held him close. 

“You have every reason to hate me,” he said, and Stone said that he didn’t hate him. 

“You  _ should _ hate me,” Robotnik retorted, and he felt Stone shake his head. 

“Why the hell do you care about  _ me,  _ Stone?” He broke. “I’m not worth it. I’ve done too much, I’ve said too much, and I’ve never even been able to tell you a damned thing I was sorry for. I’d have even thought you- you just wouldn’t believe me. You can’t understand-”

“So help me understand.” 

Robotnik shut up, lost in his attempts to respond. “I want you to understand, Stone. Badly. I want to be able to say things, but I just- I can’t. I’m- I’m so scared of getting hurt and I just fucking  _ can’t. _ ” 

Stone rubbed circles into Robotnik’s back, and he felt like he was surely dreaming. 

He breathed in time with the motion, calming down quicker than he had in previous episodes- ones where he had been alone. It was in the midst of this calm when something struck him, to treat it like a dream. It was a strange idea, but for some reason, he could see it working. 

“I’m no good with emotions, no one’s ever been around to help me with them and so I just don’t deal with them. It ends up taking me particularly bad places, and I- I lash out. I never know how to apologize, or if you’d accept one. I don’t know if I’ve hurt you, but I hate the idea of hurting you.” 

Robotnik carried on in his ramble, and before he could stop himself he had said it. 

“I love you, and I don’t know how to cope with it.” 

When he realized what he said, his eyes went wide, and he shoved himself away from Stone. Before he had gotten up to leave, a hand had grabbed his. He turned around to look at Stone and stared blankly into the worried eyes of his companion. 

The look in his eyes softened, Robotnik blinking in disbelief. He was sure he’d messed everything up, he was sure he had done something wrong beyond repair- as if he hadn’t believed that many times before. 

“I love you too.”

Robotnik must have been dreaming, he decided. He laughed, making a soft and sad noise. 

“I mean it,” Stone said, and Robotnik felt too worn out to cry anymore for the day. 

He just closed his eyes and took Stone’s hand in his. “And I don’t think I would be anything great of a partner, Stone. I think you deserve better. Someone more stable, someone not… broken.”

Stone looked at their hands, interlocked, and looked back up at Robotnik. “If you’re trying to convince me not to love you s- Ivo, it isn’t working. I already love you, and I have for a while.”

It seemed like Stone wouldn’t let him get away with this, or perhaps it was just the warm feeling in his chest convincing him to stay. It was welcome, it felt safe, it felt like something he could call home. 

“Understanding me might be difficult,” Robotnik said. “I need time to adjust to these… arrangements.” 

Stone smiled and stood up, keeping hold of Robotnik’s hand. He placed a kiss on the Doctor’s forehead and pulled back to look him in the eyes. “As much time as you need.” 

**Author's Note:**

> i havent seen the sonic movie yet


End file.
